Humor abounds from the darndest places

Here are just a few humorous comments I have collected over the last couple of weeks, do yourself a favor and tinkle before reading.... okay, I did warn you.

1. My son starts playing a matching game- "This is fascinating"
2. My son's observation that his Gran isn't moving to quickly- "Gran, are you having troubles?"
3. My son before we leave the house on an errand- "I turned off mommy's hair burner"
4. Polite conversation between me and my son, mommy as a topic come's up and I ask "who"? "That girl over there, my moms"
5. After our dog decides to nibble on my son's leg for fun- "I am not a bone I am a kid!!!"
6. I send an email on a product to some people, and a friend replies back "I don't see the hub bub". At which point I respond "are you holding the mirror down there?"
7. One of my employees describes a friend he was with and how drunk he was- "Man, he was pretty much "obliverated". I have not found any such word by Webster...
8. I had my lunch and was being chastised for not bringing an employee any. I said "I didn't think you liked Pot Roast". The employee responds "Who the f-ck doesn't like pot roast?!?!"

Not all are home runs, but I think I will be going to the playoffs...