Hell no I ain't dead

But there have been moments when I felt that would be a more pleasant alternative.... Hey folks, I reckon some of y'all missed little ole me. Thanks, that's sweet. Sooooooooo, what have you ladies and gents been up to? Feel free to leave me a comment filling me in on your happenings. What, what about me? Funny you should ask..

1. My wife and I just celebrated 10 years of marriage. add to that we were all over each other for 8 1/2 years before that, we have been around each other more than half our lives. In that time I have learned to put the seat down, squeeze toothpaste from the bottom, toilet paper dispenses over instead of under, and I have reprogrammed my body to handle bodily gasses a little bit more acceptable without exploding (burps instead of toots). Essentially, I seem more socially adjusted despite the fact I am a sociopath. However, my wife has been exposed to high levels of crazy and odd for a long time, there is no fixing that kind of damage. Sorry dudes, that ruint woman is all mine (listen for the ever so faint maniacal laugh).
   
2. Two major trade shows in 2 weeks. That equals one frustrated wife, one pissed off toddler, one worried dog, and a wore out body and mind. Well, I assume my mind is wore out. Rumor is I lost it awhile back, so I hope it's doing okay.
3. This coming June, I have another tattoo planned (right pec) so I need to drop some pudge. The artist says what I want done will take about four hours, so out of respect for my loved ones I plan to look mildly dieseled up for this. The next 12 weeks should be interesting....
   
4. I have managed to pass on the torch to a troublesome thorn in my side. I feel bad for the person who took over the responsibility of listening to the stupid excuses, constant crying, inconsequential stories about everything, meaningless plots for superiority, shifting of blame on everything and sad attempts to make friends who don't mind getting $hit on even though most humans get chapped about that. I feel bad for that guy, but not enough to take back that living bomb of stress and frustration. I do owe him some beers though.
5. I have an Affliction shirt. It is of an angel and not the typical designs of skulls, bones, or demons. Somewhat out of character for me but I must say I dig it. I won't lie, there is a good chance others will be brought into the fold. Thank you WifeyPoo!!!
6. My son is a pimp. Everywhere he has a girlfriend, or makes one. He even has a young lady on lock down at our favoritest restaurant Red Robin. His uncle used to like them older too, must be a family trait....
7. Back to point 3, I have two more tattoos in mind right now. I have another pic of my son I plan to do on my ribs, but I am having trouble designing a shoulder and half sleeve piece. I have a tentative idea about symbols representing his birth date as it is on the Chinese Zodiac (thanks Tadpole ole buddy) but I don't think that will take up all the skin I have cordoned off. So, open forum, looking for some ideas. And for you ladies and gents who don't have tattoos, I don't discriminate, feel free to chime in. If I dig it, even if I don't use your idea I will give you mad props.

That's the abridged version, the important thing is is that I was down but not out.

ps- I love you Mom, hope you enjoyed....